In early motherhood I was so stumped how other mom’s were doing it. How they were happy and thriving. I looked at my children and was lost on how to actually spend time with them.
I didn’t connect with my kids on anything because I was so overwhelmed with the thought of doing everything.
As they got older, and I grew more comfortable as mom, I realized I was failing them because I was trying to do it all. And I was trying to do it all well.
Realistically in life, we aren’t good at everything, right? So why would we think in motherhood that our skill set should be any different?
I didn’t find true comfort in my ability to mother until I settled my nerves and sucked up the fact that I just wasn’t going to be good at everything.
Imaginative play. No thanks.
Rec activities outside. Not my cup of tea.
Sensory bins. Not a fan.
Cute, creative craft projects. Surprisingly not my fave when little hands are involved.
In this world of social media comparison it’s so easy to see others highlights and think, “why can’t I?”
But I’m going to encourage you to stop. Stop looking at what others can do. Look at what you love to do. And. Just. Do. That. Thing.
I have become such a better, more connected mom since letting go of my many mom failures.
Once I stopped trying to be the mom that does everything perfectly, and focused instead on being the mom that does one good thing, I started to find more happiness in my motherhood.
I focus on what I actually enjoy doing with my kids.
What a silly concept, right?!
I focus on doing it well. I focus on the happiness it brings me, and them, to have me hands on, involved and connected.
And you know what? We are all better off for it!
Choose your One Good Mom Thing. Or two. Or three.
But either way, find what you actually enjoy to do. And own it as their mom. For me it’s coloring and reading. I put my phone away, grab a warm comfort beverage, and sit with my kids.
Why find your One Good Mom Thing?
That’s when the magic happens. They open up and we connect. It’s really as simple as that.
Because, through time and habit, we’ve established these are my “things” as a mom. So now, my kids know how to ask for connection. They invite me in. If I’m getting asked to color with them, I know they’re needing a bit of my time (and often open ended conversation). If they climb on my lap with a stack of books, I understand they’re craving closeness.
So here’s your permission, mama. Don’t worry about all the things you don’t like to do with your kids. Focus on the things you do like to do. And do them well. I promise it’ll leave you (and them) all feeling more connected. And much happier!