Ladies. Do not forget your man. Do not forget who he is. Do not forget who he was.
When you met him.
When you fell in love with him.
When you married him.
Do not forget him.
I was on the edge. I was there. We were mucking through our daily life. Trying to just survive every day. Every counter that needed wiping. Every butt that needed wiping.
So much wiping.
It all started when we fell in love. We got married. We travelled.
But then we had kids. And more kids. And even more kids. Then we moved to a new city. Bought a new house. Got a new job. Became a single income family.
So many life adjustments and here we are, treading water on the daily, trying to remember the marriage we are holding on to.
I understand it.
I understand where you’re at.
I was just there two hours ago. All it took was two hours away. Thank God for those two hours.
An early night of apps, a cheese platter and drinks was all we gave ourselves time for. But it turns out that’s all we needed. Two hours away and we were able to let or shoulders relax and reminisce. And dream again. We hadn’t had open conversation like this in months. We reevaluated our plan for the next three years. For the next five years. Even the next ten.
It was so amazing talking about our honeymoon. Our life. All of the favorite wines we’ve drank along the way. Planning to stop and buy a bottle.
And after all that reminiscing, dreaming, planning, and talking, we rode home.
My husband put on some ridiculous R&B songs.
And I just stared at him from the passenger seat and remembered.
This is him.
Here he is.
This is the husband that I married. I fell in love with. How could I have forgotten him? He wasn’t that far away. He was just lost in the sounds of kids and laundry and to do lists and Disney soundtracks and noise about daily struggles and issues and life. So. Much. Life.
He was there. Just waiting for two hours, some apps, one cheese platter, some wine, and a car ride with some poor R&B songs to come back to me.
Why haven’t I given him the opportunity to come back to me? I never give him this chance to just be him.
So ladies. Please. Do not forget to remember the man that you married. Do not forget to remember the man you fell in love with. Give him a chance. Give him an opportunity to be himself and to love you (and to serenade you with ridiculous love songs from the 90’s).
Because as long as you remember the man that you married. You’ll be okay. I promise you that.