How to be Marriage Positive with Date Night Check In’s

Marriage positivity isn’t the most popular side of the fence to be on, especially on social media. Needless to say I was super nervous when I hit “post” on some thoughts the other night on IG (find it here).

But I was so happy, relieved actually, because my inbox was FLOODED with you amazing women agreeing that marriage positivity needs to win this battle.

I’m curious, when did our perception of successful relationships become so heavily weighted by negative quotes on social media. These cliche’s can be so detrimental toward how we perceive the success of our own relationship.

I’m speaking from experience on this one. In early marriage I struggled. I fell victim to quotes like the one above because, honestly, some days marriage felt really hard!

Then cue first time parents, trying to navigate all that unknown territory. Throw in being the first generation to experience social media + parenting and it’s no wonder I felt so lost! Everywhere I looked there was anti marriage culture swarming me. Quotes on Pinterest, husband shaming on Facebook mommy groups.

So. Much. Negativity.

Anti marriage culture is real. And it’s everywhere.

But you know what? Not only is it okay for relationships in life to sometimes feel hard, it’s crazy normal.

It’s okay if it takes work some days to love our partner. Heck, some days it takes work to love ourselves.

So this week I’d love to encourage you to turn to your partner instead of social media. Look to them for the answers. Ask them what they need and want. Make time for them!

Our marriage improved drastically when we finally decided to focus on us, and tune the rest of the noise out. How?

We started having date night check in’s.

It wasn’t anything fancy. The first check in actually involved Eric scribbling some goals on a napkin at Texas Roadhouse while I nursed our third baby girl, a newborn at the time.

But that’s the beauty of checking in with your spouse. It didn’t need it to be fancy. It just needed to be intentional.

The important part of checking in with your spouse is simply dedicating some time to each other to talk. To listen. To discuss your goals. The conversation won’t always be easy. But having these check in talks is so much better for our marriages, than avoiding them.

After we “Check In” and discuss these five topics (The Five F’s), we move on to lighter things, aka Date Night!

Some of our fave (and free) date night’s include:

  • Trying new food and bevvies together
  • Playing fun games together (we love cribbage)
  • Listening to a sermon or podcast together
  • Backyard date night with our Solo Stove and the stars
  • FaceTiming long distance couple friends for a group date

The benefit of checking in with your partner!

Since starting date night check in’s, we’ve seen such a positive benefit to these intentional conversations; neutral ground to discuss the role we each play in parenting our children, good and bad we bring to the marital relationship, revisiting of personal and family goals, old and new.

And the best of all? The support. The way we get to use this time to listen to each others dreams. And not just listen, but talk about how we can make these dreams a reality. We talk about how we can support each other in finding better paths both alone and together.

So I decided to bring a little bit of our Date Night Check In to you!

I wanted to bring a piece of this marriage positivity to you all too! It’s easier to make that first step, and have these important conversations, if we have the tools to kickstart them.

So today on the blog I’m sharing this free Date Night Check In printable with you all! It’s super simple to get started!

Grab this free printable and use it as a guide to check in with your significant other on your next date night! This printable is a great way to create some open dialogue at your next date night check in.

Revisit past check in’s weekly, monthly, or quarterly to discuss your progress, and help navigate where you want to go next as a couple. 

Choose how this printable will work best for you. Tackle your goals individually (one column per partner), or as a unified team (one column per date night check in).

Going Simple Tip :: Don’t let date night take a back seat! Choose a simple rhythm as a trigger to remind you when date night is.

Our’s date night trigger is simple, we shoot for the anniversary date of our marriage each month. When the 15th rolls around, it’s a reminder we need to have (or schedule) a date night check in!

I’m so excited for you to grab this Date Night Check In free printable and kickstart some great, intentional conversation in your marriage. I’d love to hear from you, when do you plan to schedule your next Date Night Check In?

xo


Listen to podcasts on marriage here!

#MomChatMonday E13: Early marriage funnies

#MomChatMonday E14: Marriage + Gender Roles

The DC Experiment: Intentional Minimalism with The Eilers

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